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<title>but we can stay here and laugh away the fear by jonsrightrib (sotakeabitofcalpol)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004959">but we can stay here and laugh away the fear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sotakeabitofcalpol/pseuds/jonsrightrib'>jonsrightrib (sotakeabitofcalpol)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But I love wtgfs so much, F/F, It’s not particularly fluff or angst it’s just...there, Mild Humour, Set pre-160, Spoilers for S4, what the girlfriends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:54:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004959</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sotakeabitofcalpol/pseuds/jonsrightrib</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Georgie and Melanie have an evening in, and talk a little</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Georgie Barker/Melanie King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>but we can stay here and laugh away the fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mentions of hospitals, blindness, loss of control and blood, but nothing too heavy</p>
<p>I don’t entirely know where I was going with this tbh</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's it like to be numb?"</p>
<p>Georgie has to fight not to drop the glass she's just pulled down from the cupboard. She doesn't need to turn to know Melanie is exactly where she'd last been, curled up under a blanket and the Admiral.</p>
<p>"That's not...that's not how it works."</p>
<p>"No?"</p>
<p>The radio is on quietly in the background, or at the very least more quietly than it would have been before...before Melanie had left the Institute.</p>
<p>"I just can't feel fear. I can feel everything else."</p>
<p>She'd gotten the call at five o'clock. She hadn't been watching her phone. She didn't read the message from Jon until she was on the tube to the hospital.</p>
<p>'She's not part of the Institute anymore. Keep her safe, Georgie, and yourself too. She chose it this time.'</p>
<p>The hospital staff are clearly horrified when she arrives. She looks at her girlfriend, at the bandages over her eyes, and that is when it truly hits her that no matter what happened to make her this way, not being able to feel fear? One of a few genuine blessings life has granted her.</p>
<p>"But in our line of work, if you're able to stop the fear, it's almost the same thing, right?"</p>
<p>"It's not your line of work anymore. It sure isn't mine."</p>
<p>"You don't believe that. Fear is how we live now."</p>
<p>Melanie doesn't seem particularly sorry, but she rarely does. Georgie knows it's just a part of her, the same part that means she refuses to admit she can't properly reach the plates they save for special occasions.</p>
<p>She pours a decent quantity of wine into both glasses, and settles herself on the sofa.</p>
<p>"It works a bit like you said the bullet works. Amplified your anger, right? Which made you less afraid. It's like...like someone put a duvet over my fear. I know I'm afraid, but it feels so far away. I'm aware that something's happening that I should be afraid of, and I can still react with caution and self-preservation, but..."</p>
<p>"So it's like the opposite of mine."</p>
<p>Georgie has to take a second to work out what Melanie means there, because Melanie has tightened her grip on the glass and she only does that when she's not in control... out of control.</p>
<p>"You couldn't...do you mean your self-preservation couldn't override the anger?"</p>
<p>"Pretty much."</p>
<p>Georgie has already imagined Melanie washing away blood that soaks her hair and skin and clothes in the shitty Institute bathroom. It's funny, because in her mind's eye, Melanie is completely free of any wounds, even though she knows that Melanie had taken claws and knives and just kept going. She doesn't want to add them into her visual of the bathroom. She already knows how much and how many people's blood had to be cleaned off that floor.</p>
<p>"That's fucked up,"</p>
<p>Melanie nods, mouth quirking up at the corner slightly.</p>
<p>"What, there isn't really anything else to say here."</p>
<p>"Georgie, I love you dearly, but you have a tendency to make conversations a lot more philosophical than necessary."</p>
<p>Melanie's laughing now, and Georgie's heart lifts about six foot from where it had plummeted to her feet. Realisation dawns on her very slowly.</p>
<p>"You weren't asking for any philosophical reason, you want to know if I was cheating when we played that horror movie drinking game."</p>
<p>"...no."</p>
<p>"I'm not a cheat!"</p>
<p>Any of the residual vibes from the conversation fade away, as Melanie tries not to spill her glass as Georgie tries to get closer in mock annoyance.</p>
<p>"Oh you definitely are a cheat. You don't have to listen to the fear, you can just ignore it."</p>
<p>"That's not cheating, I've never been scared of horror movies."</p>
<p>"Bullshit."</p>
<p>"Oh ok then, Miss I'm-a-scary-goth-in-my-free-time, let's have a rematch."</p>
<p>Melanie pauses for a second. Georgie can't really work out why.</p>
<p>"I can't watch them anymore. I'm blind, Georgie."</p>
<p>"Shit, I..."</p>
<p>"Georgie, chill. I'm joking. Anyway, I personally think it's sweet."</p>
<p>"Of course you would, you sap."</p>
<p>"Excuse you, I am a remorseless killer."</p>
<p>"You're my remorseless killer."</p>
<p>"So was Jon."</p>
<p>"Low blow! And anyway, he didn't actually murder anyone, and you secretly, deep down quite like him."</p>
<p>She curls close into her collarbone.</p>
<p>"Fine. But only because I trust your judgment," Georgie just waits for it. "And because he's pretty focused, if you ignore the paranoia."</p>
<p>She doesn't mean to fall silent, but she does, and Melanie picks up on it.</p>
<p>"It...it wasn't his fault I did this, you know. I got in too deep, same as him."</p>
<p>"I know that."</p>
<p>"You get angry every time he's mentioned. You got angry at him when he came asking for help."</p>
<p>"Im not angry at him!"</p>
<p>Melanie just quirks an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>"Fine. I'm angry at him a bit for getting you involved, but I'm angry because I'm worried about him."</p>
<p>"Then tell him that. Call him. Or...call Basira to call him."</p>
<p>Georgie presses a kiss to Melanie's cheek.</p>
<p>"I will."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is honestly not my best work, and I prefer some other stuff I’ve written, but I wanna produce wlw content for this fanbase and this is what came out.</p>
<p>The title is from Intertwined by Dodie</p></blockquote></div></div>
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